The New Monster in My Home
A couple weeks ago, I was browsing the website for the Lawrence Humane Society, and I saw a picture of a skinny, dirty little cat that looked frightened to be alive. Being the person that I am, I immediately said to myself, “MINE” because I have a habit of collecting scrangly felines who should probably be put on anxiety medication. It took very little convincing to get my partner on board. All they had to do was pick the purring cat up, look at me with tears in their big green eyes and the adoption papers practically signed themselves. Originally, her name was going to be Sunflower: a dose of sunshine, a sweet, wholesome new start.
But then I saw her in person, and I was like, “that’s a broomstick.” And what’s more appropriate for a broomstick than a witchy name? I really advocated for Alse (as in, Alse Young, the first known victim of accused witchcraft of the thirteen colonies because I’m an actual ghoul), but my tender-hearted, adoring partner looked at me like I was quite literally insane. “What about Thomasin, like from The Witch?" I suggested. "She even kind of looks like Anya-Taylor Joy.” And thus, our beloved new baby was christened.
After a couple days of gleeful anticipation, we were finally able to bring our precious little angel home. And then the horrors began.
Eat Your Heart Out, Black Phillip
Have you ever been catfished by a literal cat? We thought we adopted a cuddly, warm, sleepy girl whose favorite activity was making biscuits in the air. On the first day home, this cat sneezed in my partner’s eyeball. Multiple times. She snot-rocketed our furniture. The second day of cohabitating, we had to take her to the emergency vet because she wouldn’t eat or drink and had trouble breathing. I was convinced she had a major fever and a lethal upper respiratory infection. Turns out she just has herpes?! Which is a thing that cats can have??! After her diagnosis and meds, she kept fighting the vet tech, and it took two people to get her back in her carrier. Did I mention this cat only weighs six pounds? A round of antibiotics later, she's feeling much better.
Which should be a good thing, right? Right?? WRONG. Her mask has come off, and underneath is a demonic entity.
Every single day this cat bites me. Hard. It’s like she has a personal vendetta against upper arms. We have to keep her quarantined from our other cats so my nervous fuzzballs aren’t too afraid (one of them already peed on my bed, three cats was a GREAT idea), but every day this monster chomps down on my ankles and tries to make a jailbreak. While screaming. She also destroys cat toys in a way that makes me genuinely frightened for mice if they ever come into our home. What I wanted was a pitiful Victorian orphan in cat form, but instead, my precious widdle kitty has worms. This is my fault, I know. I should have just named her something nice.
Every new day with this beast is a nightmare, and to celebrate, here are some horror book recommendations.
Wouldst Thou Like to Read Deliciously?
YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO BE HUMAN
My cat's new nickname is Wormy and this book has got a LOT of those.
TANTRUM
The main character is convinced her new baby is a demon? Sounds pretty familiar.
Come Closer
A harrowing tale about escalating violence and a demonic possession. 👀
Incidents Around the House
The title of this book is basically all of my diary entries lately.
Wake up and Open your Eyes
Wake up! This is a really good book about toxic media consumption!
A GAME IN YELLOW
Cosmic horror meets a messed up relationship dynamic.
SPREAD ME
Icky body horror and a truly unhinged premise equals superb book.
BLACK FLAME
I cannot praise this book enough. You just have to read it for yourself.
This Is Where We Talk Things Out
I read this book during one of the rare moments of peace with my new cat.
Brainwyrms
What's worse? Brainworms or literal worms? That's for you to decide.
–Adam Lopez is a Readers' Services Assistant at Lawrence Public Library.
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